With the return to the office comes the return of the business meal. And the networking cocktail event. And the get-to-know-you buffet. That also means relearning — or for some younger workers, learning for the first time — the art of juggling a drink in one hand and an appetizer in the other, all while trying to shake hands and make a good impression. 

“After two years of being either isolated or remote and not having the opportunities to meet in person for meals, some of us literally forgot how to do that,” said Ray Smith, a reporter at the Wall Street Journal. 

So, are all those sometimes-awkward business lunches — and all the dollars spent on nice restaurant salads — still worth it? Smith says yes. 

“It’s about who you know,” he said. “Even in this age where a lot of things are remote and business has changed, that face-to-face connection — even if it’s just one — can make a difference.”

“Marketplace” host Kai Ryssdal talked to Smith about his article on the possible etiquette faux-pas that come with the return of the business meal. Below is an edited transcript of their conversation. 

Kai Ryssdal: For those who are unfamiliar or who have perhaps forgotten in the last three-plus years, what’s it like out there in the world of the in-person business meal?

Ray Smith: It’s as awkward as ever. Business meals are back, but it is awkward as ever. 

Ryssdal: Have we just forgotten how to do it? Do you think that’s part of it? 

Smith: You know, after two years of being either isolated or remote and not having the opportunities to meet in person for meals, some of us literally forgot how to do that. 

Ryssdal: And then there is also an entire — well, not generation, but an entire set of new people in the workforce, who don’t really understand the concept of a business meal to begin with, and so are at a disadvantage. 

Smith: Exactly. In fact, there have been classes on business meal etiquette for years. They were in-person, and they were suspended during the pandemic. So those classes of students missed out on those lessons. And now they’re being thrust into the business world for the first time without the benefit of having those skills or learning those skills, so it’s challenging. 

Ryssdal: Is it still true that — and look, I’m saying this as a guy who’s trapped in a radio studio for most of the day, and so I don’t actually get out to have business lunches — but they can be professionally helpful, we should say. 

Smith: That’s a really good point, because there is a networking value to face-to-face meeting outside of an office that’s in the sort of business-social setting. It’s still seen as a good way to network and get to know people. And it’s really seen as this networking opportunity that’s sort of one-on-one, more personal, except when it’s sort of a whole big networking banquet dinner affair. But it’s really seen as a way to sort of get to know somebody outside of an official office context. 

Ryssdal: Yeah, and we should say here, it’s not just lunches, right? As I was alluding to, there are cocktail parties where you’ve got hors d’oeuvres in your hand, and you’re trying to hold a glass of wine and a napkin in your other hand, and you go to bump elbows or whatever instead of a handshake. I mean, it gets a little rough!

Smith: It does get a little rough. You’re balancing a lot of things. First of all, you’re hungry and you’re nervous, but you’re also in this setting where you’re trying to impress other people. And you need a hand free if you want to shake hands or if you want to acknowledge somebody. It’s hard to do when you’re either holding a phone or you’re holding a drink or you’re holding an hors d’oeuvre. And it’s also just really complicated to try to hold a conversation while you’re also trying to eat or drink. So it’s really just a lot of things that you’re trying to balance and show that you have good table manners, but also you’re good at banter and keeping eye contact and knowing when to take a bite and when to not. It’s really challenging, and I think people take it for granted sometimes. 

Ryssdal: You know, it’s funny, actually, what you described, it’s a little bit of a test. 

Smith: It is a test. And a lot of people fail. And it can get really messy sometimes. I personally tend to not eat. Like, if there’s a cocktail event, I tend not to go for the hors d’oeuvres, because I just know I’m inevitably going to get food stuck in my teeth or something like that, or spit out at somebody while I’m talking. So it’s just navigating a lot. It’s very tricky. 

Ryssdal: Do you think it’s worth it? Do you think it pays off? I mean, yes, there’s a networking opportunity. But do you think given the changes in the labor market, which we’ve talked about on this program — and you’ve written about, surely — do you think it pays off still? Or has labor in this country changed so much that it’s kind of a different gig?

Smith: It’s a slightly different gig. But there’s something about — I mean, it’s an old adage, but it’s about who you know. So there is still some benefit to it, even in this age where a lot of things are remote and businesses has changed. That face-to-face connection, one-on-one — even if it’s just one — can make a difference.