For some, a multigenerational household involves both love and economics
For some, a multigenerational household involves both love and economics
John Lawler, 75 years old, is a long-time potter. His wife, Carol, was a flight attendant for some four decades. They’ve been married for 44 years and have two daughters. Their single-story home is about half an hour north of Duluth, Minnesota, alongside a rural stretch of Highway 61. Lake Superior is right across the street.
Carol had a stroke several years ago. Later, she was diagnosed with Parkinsonism. The family decided to come together.
“We’re gonna keep her home, as long as we can do it safely,” John said. “And even the grandkids have kicked in. I mean, if she wanders off without her walker — once in a while gets a little gutsy — they call her on it.”
“It’s very humbling, very humbling that they gave up their place — their own place — to share this house with us,” said Carol, sitting in a comfortable chair near the entryway with their dog. “It’s so helpful. He just can’t do it all anymore, can’t take care of me, and worries about me falling all the time. And so it’s so nice to have them here.”
The family is not alone in their choice to live as part of a multigenerational household. In fact, the number of people living in multigenerational family households quadrupled to nearly 60 million people between 1971 and 2021. And the decision to live intergenerationally often involves economic factors, like housing affordability or care of an aging relative.
Briefly, here are the details of the Lawlers’ story: Their oldest daughter and her husband left New Jersey and now live about a mile away. Katie, their other daughter, her husband and their two children — ages 8 and 11 — were living in Duluth. John built a 360-square-foot addition to the home for himself and Carol to live in.
That project was essentially done in late November 2023. Katie’s family moved into the rest of the home. Katie noted that there are benefits to living together again, including looking out on Lake Superior.
“The kids are super close with their Nana and Papa, so that has been a plus for everyone,” she said. “You hear of it more with kids growing up, with grandparents and family close by, and just to be able to help. They took care of me for how many years? So how can I return the favor?”
John and Carol love having the grandkids around.
“Well, like last night Ellie came and sat by the fireplace for about an hour just to read, but she wanted to be close to Nana and Papa. Eva will come in and and just talk to me,” said John. “I’d say that’s the best asset of what’s come together, and it’ll be fun to see how it affects them growing up, you know, having us in their lives every day.”
These emotions resonate with Marc Freedman, founder of Co-Generate, an enterprise focused on building bridges between the generations. His in-laws live in a cottage behind his house in the Bay Area. There are economic benefits from sharing housing costs, including buying groceries together. It’s helpful when his in-laws take their three children to activities, and their kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents.
“There’s also a way in which we’ve created a kind of safety net when something goes wrong,” Freedman said. “We’re there to help each other out.”
One third of U.S. adults living in a multigenerational household say caregiving is a major reason for the arrangement, including one-quarter who are taking care of an older adult.
John’s work in the house, meanwhile, is mostly done. The remodeling allows everyone their privacy while making it easy to stay in touch.
“Everybody has their privacy. But yeah, we also have the community. You know, as Ellie, my granddaughter, says: ‘Three knocks on the wall means ice cream.’ So it’s there. And yet, with this wall we just put up, it’s soundproof. We can’t hear anything at all on the other side, but yet there’s access to each area,” he said.
The future may be uncertain, but it’s striking how powerful the family bond can be.
“I want to help her out and keep her around us as long as I can. And that’s the family goal,” John said.
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